A U.S. Marine boarded a crowded train
A U.S. Marine boarded a crowded train and searched up and down for a seat. The only empty one was occupied by a well-dressed French woman’s tiny…
Two married buddies were out drinking one night
Two married buddies were out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says: “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I…
Paddy’s Good Deed Gone Wrong
Paddy and Mick were in the bar one evening having a few beers when Paddy suddenly shook his head and said, “Life sure is getting messed up…
My wife found out our Schnauzer could hardly hear
My wife found out our Schnauzer could hardly hear, so she took him to the vet. Turns out the poor dog had so much hair in his ears…
A journalist interviews a farmer
A journalist interviews a farmer: “If you have two bungalows, are you willing to give one to the country?” The farmer, without hesitation, said, “Sure! For communism!”…
Joanna decided they should have separate bedrooms
Tom, 85, married Joanna, 25. 💍 Because of the age gap, Joanna decided they should have separate bedrooms — she was worried Tom might overdo it if…
A man calls 911
A man calls 911 “Yes, Sir. What’s your emergency?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor, Billy Smith. He’s hiding drugs inside his firewood.” “Thank you very much for the call,…
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven… When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t…
Paddy’s Big Worry
Paddy and Mick were sitting in the bar one night when Paddy stared into his Guinness with a gloomy look on his face. “Why the long face,…
When a wealthy husband passed
When a wealthy husband passed, he left $30,000 for an “elaborate funeral.” 💰⚰️ After the service, a friend asked where all the money went. The widow explained:…
Jack walked into a sports bar
Jack walked into a sports bar 🍺 around 9:58 pm and sat next to a blonde 👱♀️ just as the 10:00 news came on 📺. A man…
A pretty lady walked into a pet store
A pretty lady walked into a pet store and started chatting with the owner. She said, “I’d love a pet that matches my personality—fun, charming, and a…