“My dear wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever, I’ve been a good man for you for 7 years, these last two weeks have been hell …

Your boss has called to tell me that you were leaving your job today Last week you came back and you did not even notice that I had a new haircut, I had cooked your favorite meal and even had a new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching your soap operas. You do not tell me anymore I love you; you do not want sex anymore or anything that connects us as husband and wife.

Anyway, I’m leaving forever …

Your ex-husband.

PS: Do not try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away from West Virginia together! Have a wonderful life!

“Dear ex-husband, nothing has brightened my day even more than receiving your letter, it is true that you and I have been married for 7 years, even if a good man is very far from what you have been.

I noticed that you had a new haircut last week, but the first thing that came to my mind was “you look like a girl!” And when you cooked my favorite dish, you probably confused me with my sister, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About these silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $ 49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed for it to be a coincidence, my sister had just borrowed this sum that morning.

After all that, I still loved you and felt that we could find a solution. So, When I hit the $ 10 million lotto, I quit my job and bought 2 tickets for Jamaica, but when I got back, you were gone …

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you have always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote to me assures me that you do not want to get a penny from me. So take care of yourself.

Signed, your ex-wife, rich as Croesus and free …

PS: I do not know if I already told you, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope it’s not a problem … “