A teenage boy goes to church to confess his sins.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned

I have been with a loose girl.”

The priest asks, “Is that you, little Tommy O’Shaughnessy?”

‘Yes, Father, it is.”

“And who was the girl you were with?”

“I can’t tell you, Father

I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

“Well, Tommy, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now

Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?”

“I cannot say.”

“Was it Lisa O’Shanter?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Was it Cathy O’Dell?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

“Was it Fiona Mallory?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Was it Brenda O’Malley, then?”

“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration.

“You’re very tight-lipped, and I admire that

But you’ve sinned, and you have to atone

You can no longer be an altar boy until 4 months have passed

Now you go and behave yourself.”

“Yes, Father.”

Tommy walks back to his pew, and his friend Sean slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

Tommy replies,

“Four months vacation and five good leads!”