A guy sitting in a bar is looking really nervous.
Every time the door opens, he jumps. Every time there is a noise, he cringes.
The bartender, after watching this for an hour, finally goes over and asks, “What’s the matter with you?”
“Well, I received a letter today that said if I didn’t stop fooling around with his wife, he was gonna shoot me.”
For heaven’s sake, why don’t you just stop fooling around with his wife?”
Came the reply, “I would, but he didn’t sign his name!!”
Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and…
The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?” “No,” he replied. “I’ve never done either.” “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool around with…
Benjamin was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12 years he is notified that his Uncle from Ludhiana has died and left…
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,…
A dentist told a mother, “I’m sorry madam, but I’ll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy’s tooth.” The mother exclaimed, “A $100! You…
A female alcoholic walks into a bar that has a sign marked: “For Men Only.” “I’m sorry, ma’am,” says the bartender. “We only serve men in this…