The doctor looked Joe straight in the eye and said, “I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is—I can cure your headaches. The bad news? We gotta remove your family jewels.”

Joe’s jaw hit the floor. “Wait… WHAT?!”

The doctor sighed. “You have a rare condition. Your, uh… gentlemen’s department is pressing against your spine, causing massive headaches. The only fix is castration.”

Joe was devastated. Was life even worth living without his… best buddies? But after years of migraines, he finally gave in.

Post-surgery, Joe walked out of the hospital headache-free for the first time in 20 years. He should’ve been thrilled, but something felt… missing. Like an important part of him had been left behind. Oh, right.

Determined to start fresh, he spotted a men’s clothing store and strutted in. “I need a new suit,” he told the salesman.

The old tailor sized him up. “Let’s see… 44 long.”

Joe blinked. “That’s exactly right! How’d you know?”

“Been in the business 60 years.”

Joe tried on the suit—perfect fit.

The salesman nodded. “How about a new shirt?”

Joe shrugged. “Sure.”

The salesman squinted. “34 sleeve, 16½ neck.”

Joe gasped. “Unbelievable! How’d you do that?”

“Been in the business 60 years.”

Joe put on the shirt—it fit like a dream.

“Shoes?” the salesman asked.

Joe grinned. “Why not?”

The salesman glanced at his feet. “9½ E.”

Joe’s jaw dropped. “Okay, now this is freaky.”

“Been in the business 60 years.”

Joe slipped on the shoes—perfect fit again.

The salesman smiled. “How about some new underwear?”

Joe hesitated, then nodded. “Sure, size 34.”

The salesman frowned. “Nah, you need a 36.”

Joe laughed. “Aha! Gotcha! I’ve been wearing a 34 since I was 18!”

The salesman shook his head. “Son, if you wear a 34, it’ll press your testicles against your spine and give you one hell of a headache.”

Joe fainted.