A Man Rushes Into A Bar And Says, “Quick! Give me a pint of lager!”
No sooner does he finish that drink, he orders a whisky and slams it down.
As fast as the bartender is pouring the drinks, the man is knocking them back, one after the other.
The bartender says, “Are you okay buddy? What’s brought this on?”
The man replies, “Man, I should NOT be drinking all this with what I’ve got.”
“Holy smokes,” replies the bartender, “what have you got?!”
The man replies,
“About five bucks.”
Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and…
The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?” “No,” he replied. “I’ve never done either.” “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool around with…
Benjamin was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12 years he is notified that his Uncle from Ludhiana has died and left…
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,…
A dentist told a mother, “I’m sorry madam, but I’ll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy’s tooth.” The mother exclaimed, “A $100! You…
A female alcoholic walks into a bar that has a sign marked: “For Men Only.” “I’m sorry, ma’am,” says the bartender. “We only serve men in this…