Paddy and Mick were sitting in the bar one night when Paddy stared into his Guinness with a gloomy look on his face.

“Why the long face, Paddy?” Mick asked.

Paddy took a long pull of his Guinness and sighed. “I need your help, Mick.”

“Help with what?” Mick replied.

Shaking his head sadly, Paddy said, “I think the wife is cheating on me.”

Mick jerked back. “Begorra! And why would you think that?”

Paddy took another drink. “All the usual signs… nights out with the girls, coming home late, phone calls where the caller hangs up when I answer. I try to stay awake to catch her, but I usually fall asleep.

“Well, last night I finally stayed awake. I hid behind my boat in the shed when a car pulled up. Sure enough, my wife got out – hair a mess, lipstick smudged, trying to button up her blouse. And that’s why I need your help.”

“Anything you need, Paddy. Just tell me,” Mick said.

“Well,” Paddy said, “while I was watching Maureen walk up the path… I noticed a crack in the motor-mounting plate on the back of the boat. You know about these things – can I weld the plate, or do I need to replace it?”