My new job as a Walmart greeter

So, after landing my new job as a Walmart greeter—a good find for many retirees—I lasted less than a day. 

About two hours into my first shift, a very loud, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. 

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Walmart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?” 

Of course, her children were at least two years apart, and while they shared some similar features, they certainly didn’t look alike. 

The woman stopped yelling long enough to snap, “Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind or just stupid?” 

So I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, ma’am… I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at Walmart.” 

My supervisor later said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.

Views: 519

Related Posts

Story: A soldier approached a nun

Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and…

Story: 100 years old

The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?” “No,” he replied. “I’ve never done either.” “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool around with…

Story: Benjamin was in jail

Benjamin was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12 years he is notified that his Uncle from Ludhiana has died and left…

Story: A married couple were asleep

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,…

Story: A dentist told a mother

A dentist told a mother, “I’m sorry madam, but I’ll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy’s tooth.” The mother exclaimed, “A $100! You…

Story: For Men Only

A female alcoholic walks into a bar that has a sign marked: “For Men Only.” “I’m sorry, ma’am,” says the bartender. “We only serve men in this…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *