JAN: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

FEB: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Hello!!! Bottles won’t fit in typewriter!!!

MAR: Got really excited – finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months – box said ‘2-4 years!

APR: Trapped on escalator for hours – power went out!!!

MAY: Tried to make Kool-Aid – wrong instructions – 8 cups of water won’t fit into those tiny packets!!!

JUN: Tried to waterski – couldn’t find a lake with a slope.

JUL: Lost breast stroke swimming contest – learned later the other swimmers cheated- they used their arms!

AUG: Got locked out of my car in rain storm -car swamped because soft-top was open.

SEP: The capital of California is ‘C’ – isn’t it??? MAY: Tried to make Kool-Aid – wrong instructions – 8 cups of water won’t fit into those tiny packets!!! JUN: Tried to waterski – couldn’t find a lake with a slope. JUL: Lost breast stroke swimming contest – learned later the other swimmers cheated- they used their arms! AUG: Got locked out of my car in rain storm -car swamped because soft-top was open. SEP: The capital of California is ‘C’ – isn’t it???

OCT: Hate Smarties – they are so hard to peel! NOV: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days – instructions said I hour per pound and I weigh 108!!! DEC: Couldn’t call 911 – duh – there’s no ‘eleven’ button on the stupid phone!!! Whew – what a year!!