A guy sitting in a bar is looking really nervous. Every time the door opens, he jumps. Every time there is a noise, he cringes. The bartender,…

Two smart fellows were in a pub. They called the pub’s owner over and asked him to settle an argument. “Are there two pints in a quart…

A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful…

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollered out… “Pa you need to go out and fix the outhouse! ”Pa replies, “There ain’t nuthin’ wrong…

An elderly gentleman goes to his.. doctor for a physical, checked his bloodwork, heart and lungs, everything looks great! The doctor said he had one more test…

On a recent flight I was on, this elderly woman kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking…

A man is standing outside the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter approaches and says, “Can I help you?” The man replies, “No thanks.” He continues to stand…

Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section. One asks the other if she would like a…

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get to the cabin, the guy goes out to chop some wood…

Three inmates were being transported to state prison. As part of a new “morale initiative,” each of them was allowed to bring one item to help pass…

The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband. Aroused Husband says, “You look so beautiful and…