A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.
After looking the man over the policeman says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”
The man gets really indignant and says, “Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?”
Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and…
The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?” “No,” he replied. “I’ve never done either.” “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool around with…
Benjamin was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12 years he is notified that his Uncle from Ludhiana has died and left…
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,…
A dentist told a mother, “I’m sorry madam, but I’ll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy’s tooth.” The mother exclaimed, “A $100! You…
A female alcoholic walks into a bar that has a sign marked: “For Men Only.” “I’m sorry, ma’am,” says the bartender. “We only serve men in this…