A police officer was on routine patrol outside a bar in the Outback when he noticed a man leaving, so drunk he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a while, trying keys on five different cars before finally finding his own and collapsing into the driver’s seat.

For what seemed like ages, he fiddled with the car, switching the wipers on and off, flicking the blinkers, honking the horn, and turning the lights on and off.

He moved the car a few inches forward, then reversed, and then just sat there while other people left.

When the lot was finally empty, he slowly drove off, and the officer, who had been observing from a distance, pulled him over, administered a breathalyzer test… and to his surprise, it came up completely clean!

The officer, stunned, said, “I’m going to have to take you to the station. This breathalyzer must be broken.”

The man proudly replied, “I doubt it. I’m the designated decoy tonight!”