A man sat on a towel on a beach. He had no arms or legs.
3 Women walked past & felt sorry for him. 1 said “U ever had a hug?” He said “No” so she hugged him & walked on.
2nd said, “U ever had a kiss?”
He said “No” so she kissed him & walked on.
3rd said, “U have ever been fu**ed?” He said “No” as his eyes lit up…
… she said, “U will be when the tide comes in.”
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify…
One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring. “Where did you get that ring?” her husband asks. “Well, she replies, “My boss and I…
One night, a husband murmured in his sleep, “Oh, Emily, you’re the one that got away.” The wife, wide awake beside him, bolted up and exclaimed, “Emily?…
A blonde is on vacation and runs out of money. She wants to write an e-mail to her mother so that her mother can send her some….
One day at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skin-tight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get…
A blonde phones her boyfriend and says, “Please come over and help me. I’ve got this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can’t figure out how to get…