A man had a parrot of which he was excessively fond. He kept it in a silver cage and fed it fruits and nuts and anything else the bird asked for, for the parrot was so clever it could engage in conversation.
One day, the man forgot to lock the cage, and the parrot flew away.
When the man finally found it after several days, he cried,
“My dear parrot, why did you leave me?”
The parrot replied,
“Just wanted to check if you’d miss me… or just talk to yourself all day!”
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An 85-year-old woman named Doris went to the DMV to renew her driver’s license.The clerk looked at her paperwork and said, “Ma’am, I see here that you…