A husband and wife are staring at their garden. “Sooner or later,” the wife comments, “you’re going to have to put in a better scarecrow.”
“What’s wrong with the one we’ve got?” asks the husband. “It scares away all the birds and it’s still got a few good years left.”
“I agree,” the wife says, “but my mother can’t stay out there forever.”
The guy goes every day to the same diner, looks over the menu, and always orders the same thing: ham and eggs. Every day, the same thing:…
“I have some good news and some bad news,” said the doctor. “You have seven days to live.” “Seven days!” replied the patient. “That’s awful! What’s the…
A man’s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So…
So this guy walks into a church and heads straight for the confession booth. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The priest says, “Alright, my son,…
A terribly overweight blonde woman goes to her doctor about her weight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat vegetables and…
A homeless guy is travelling down a country lane, tired and hungry he comes across a pub called the ‘George and the Dragon’. Although it’s late and…