A CHINESE GUY COMES INTO THE PUB, STANDS NEXT TO ME AND STARTS DRINKING. I SAID TO HIM, “DO YOU KNOW ANY OF THE MARTIAL ARTS.
LIKE KUNG FU, JU-JITSU, OR KARATE?” HE SAYS “WHY THE FUCK YOU ASK ME THAT. IS IT BECAUSE I’M CHINESE? “HE SAYS “WHY THE FUCK YOU ASK ME THAT. IS IT BECAUSE I’M CHINESE? “NO” I SAID, “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE DRINKIN MY F*CKING BEER!”
A man calls home from the office and excitedly tells his wife, “Something big just came up! I have a once-in-a-lifetime chance to go on a week-long…
Little Johnny and Susie, both five years old, were playing house when they decided it was time to get married. Determined to make it official, Little Johnny…
A police officer pulled over a car for speeding and approached the driver’s side window. Officer: “Sir, may I see your driver’s license?” Driver: “I don’t have…
An elderly priest had grown tired of hearing the same sin in confession—adultery. Every week, it was the same thing. One Sunday, during his sermon, he sighed…
In the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school, the children lined up for lunch. At the front of the line sat a large tray of apples. A…
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and a bunch of lab tests, he looked at me and said, “You’re doing fairly well…