Ray Came Home One Night And Fell Asleep

After a hard day at the office, Ray crawled into bed with his wife while she slept, and promptly dozed off.

The first thing he heard as he opened his eyes in heaven was St. Peter’s eerie remark, “You died in your sleep, Ray.”

‘I’m dead?’ murmured a shocked Ray. ‘No way in hell am I! Too much is at stake for me to die now; please bring me back!’

St. Peter broke the news that your only option for returning to Earth was as a chicken.

Ray was heartbroken, but he prayed to St. Peter to be transferred to a farm in his neighborhood.

Suddenly, he was surrounded by feathers and clucking and pecking at the ground.

So, you’re the new hen, huh?’ strolled by a rooster. ‘How is your first day going thus far?’

‘Not bad,’ Ray the hen said, ‘but I have this funny feeling inside like I’m gonna explode!’

To which the rooster said, “You’re ovulating; don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before?”

Never, Ray firmly proclaimed.

The rooster advises, “Well, just chill out and let it happen.” Not a big deal, really.

He did, and a few awkward seconds later, an egg sprang to the surface.

As he became a father, he was overtaken with emotion.

His happiness led him to lay another egg shortly after.

He was just ready to lay his third egg when he felt and heard something hit the back of his skull.

“Ray, wake up! You took a dump on the bed!”

Views: 13,087

Related Posts

Story: A soldier approached a nun

Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and…

Story: 100 years old

The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?” “No,” he replied. “I’ve never done either.” “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool around with…

Story: Benjamin was in jail

Benjamin was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12 years he is notified that his Uncle from Ludhiana has died and left…

Story: A married couple were asleep

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,…

Story: A dentist told a mother

A dentist told a mother, “I’m sorry madam, but I’ll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy’s tooth.” The mother exclaimed, “A $100! You…

Story: For Men Only

A female alcoholic walks into a bar that has a sign marked: “For Men Only.” “I’m sorry, ma’am,” says the bartender. “We only serve men in this…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *