A mortician was working late one night at the funeral home. The building was quiet, the lights were dim, and he was finishing his final examination before the bodies were sent away for burial or cremation.

His last case of the evening was Mr. Sam, an elderly gentleman scheduled to be cremated the next morning.

As the mortician carefully examined the body, he suddenly stopped and stared in disbelief. Mr. Sam had the most unbelievably large private part he had ever seen in his entire career.

The mortician shook his head and said, “I’m sorry, Mr. Sam, but I simply can’t allow something this remarkable to disappear in a cremation furnace. A thing like this must be preserved for posterity.”

So, after a moment of strange professional pride, he used his tools to remove the dead man’s distinguishing feature. He wrapped it carefully, placed it inside his briefcase, locked up the funeral home, and took it home with him.

When he arrived, his wife was in the kitchen.

“Darling,” he said excitedly, “I have something in my briefcase that you absolutely will not believe.”

She looked at him suspiciously as he placed the briefcase on the table and opened it.

The moment she saw what was inside, her eyes went wide.

“Oh my God!” she screamed.

The mortician smiled proudly. “Impressive, isn’t it?”

His wife gasped and cried,

“Sam is dead?!”