An elderly Texan arrived in Chicago and decided it was time to buy himself a proper “city” outfit. So he walked into Marshall Field’s, where a sweet young saleswoman greeted him with a smile.

“Can I help you, sir?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “I’m from Texas, and I reckon I need a complete city outfit.”

Her eyes lit up. “Wonderful. Where would you like to start?”

“How about a suit?”

“Of course. What size?”

“Size 53 tall, ma’am.”

“Wow,” she said, surprised. “That’s really big.”

“Yes, ma’am. They really grow them big in Texas.”

Next, he asked for shoes.

“What size?” she asked.

“Size 15 double E.”

Again, she stared. “That’s really big!”

“Yes, ma’am. They really grow them big in Texas.”

Then he ordered a shirt.

“What size?”

“Nineteen and a half neck, sleeve 38.”

“Wow, that’s really big!”

“Yes, ma’am. They really grow them big in Texas.”

Finally, he asked for a hat.

“What size and style?”

“Eight and five-eighths. Stetson.”

By now, the saleswoman was blushing with curiosity.

As she totaled the bill, she leaned closer and asked, “Sir, may I ask you a personal question?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “I already know what it is. And the answer is four inches.”

She gasped. “Why, my boyfriend is bigger than that!”

The old Texan smiled and replied,

“From the floor, ma’am… from the floor.”