James showed up at Mass one Sunday, and the priest nearly fell down when he saw him. He’d never been to church in his life except for funerals and weddings.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, “James, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?”

James said, “I got to be honest with ya Father. A while back, I done lost my hat, me . . . and I really, really love dat hat. I knowed dat Wille had a hat just like mine, and I knew he came to church every Sunday.”

“I also knowed that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal Willie’s hat.”

The priest said somewhat angrily, “WELL, James, I NOTICE THAT YA DIDN’T STEAL WILLIE’S HAT. WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND?”

James replied, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the Ten Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal Willie’s hat after all.”

With a tear in his eye, the priest gave James a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh?”

James slowly shook his head.

“No Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adültêry’, I remembered where I left my hat.”