A woman walked into a pet shop and saw a beautiful parrot sitting in a cage near the counter.

“How much is that parrot?” she asked.

The shop owner looked uncomfortable.

“That one? Fifty dollars.”

“Only fifty?” she said. “It’s gorgeous.”

“Yes,” said the owner, “but I should warn you…”

The parrot suddenly said, “Good afternoon, lovely lady.”

The woman smiled. “Oh, he’s polite!”

The owner hesitated. “Sometimes.”

The parrot bowed his head and said, “You have excellent taste.”

“That’s adorable,” she said. “I’ll take him.”

The owner leaned closer.

“Are you sure? He used to live in a very strange house.”

“I’m sure,” she said. “He seems charming.”

She took the parrot home and placed the cage in the living room.

The parrot looked around and said, “Nice place. Terrible curtains.”

The woman laughed.

“Cheeky little thing.”

Later, her teenage daughter came home.

The parrot looked at her and said, “Ah, the dramatic one has arrived.”

The daughter gasped.

“Mom!”

The woman laughed nervously.

“He’s just adjusting.”

Then her husband came home from work.

The parrot stared at him, tilted his head, and said, “Well, well, well… Gary, we meet again.”

The room went completely silent.

The woman slowly turned to her husband.

“Gary?”

Her husband’s face went white.

“I… I can explain.”

The parrot flapped his wings.

“Oh, this should be good.”

The woman crossed her arms.

“Why does this parrot know you?”

Gary swallowed.

“I may have visited the pet shop before.”

The parrot shouted, “Not the pet shop!”

Gary pointed at the bird.

“You stay out of this!”

The woman’s eyes widened.

“What does he mean?”

The parrot puffed up proudly and said, “I used to live in the apartment across from Gary’s office.”

Gary whispered, “Please stop.”

The parrot continued, “Lovely blonde lady. Very loud laugh. Terrible singing.”

The woman stared at Gary.

Gary panicked.

“That was my cousin!”

The parrot nodded and said:

“Funny. She called you ‘baby.’”

The woman picked up her purse.

Gary looked at the parrot and said, “You ruined my life.”

The parrot smiled and replied:

“Fifty dollars well spent.”