A police officer pulls over a speeding car

Officer: “I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.”
Driver: “Oh no, officer, I had the cruise control set at 60. Must be your radar gun.”

Not looking up from her knitting, the wife says:
“Don’t be silly, dear — this car doesn’t have cruise control.” 

The officer starts writing the ticket.
The driver glares at his wife:
“Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?!” 

The wife smiles sweetly and says:
“Well, dear… you should be thankful your radar detector went off or you’d have been going even faster.”

The officer pauses… then writes a second ticket for the illegal radar detector. 

The driver, now furious, growls:
“WOMAN! Must you talk?!”

The officer frowns.
“And I notice you’re not wearing a seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.”

Driver:
“I had it on, but took it off to get my wallet when you pulled me over.”

Wife:
“Now dear… you know you never ever wear your seat belt when you drive.” 

The officer begins writing out ticket number three.

The driver explodes:
“WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT UP?!” 

The officer turns to the wife and asks gently,
“Ma’am, does your husband always talk to you this meanly?”

Wife:
“Only when he’s had a skinful of booze, officer.”