An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees an old farmer sitting on his porch patting his dog.

He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the old farmer

“G’ day, mind if I talk to your dog?”

Old Farmer: “The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid Aussie.”

Ventriloquist: “Hello dog, how’s it going mate?”

Dog (via ventriloquist): “Doin’ all right.”

Old Farmer: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: “Is this villager your owner?” (pointing at the villager)

Dog: “Yep”

Ventriloquist: “How does he treat you?”

Dog: “Real good

He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”

Old Farmer: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”

Old Farmer: “Uh, the horse doesn’t talk either…I think.”

Ventriloquist: “Hey horse, how’s it going?”

Horse: “Cool”

Old Farmer: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: “Is this your owner?” (pointing at the villager)

Horse: “Yep”

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking

He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.”

Old Farmer: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”

After a long pause-

Old Farmer: (in a panic) “The sheep’s a f*ckin’ liar.”