I ate 3 plates of beans

During lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans. When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:

Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight.

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. 

The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. 

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. 

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses.

Views: 416

Related Posts

Story: Waitress’ Response To Customer After “Inappropriate” Order Request

Female waitresses often face challenging situations in their line of work. Despite some male waiters’ claims, women have to deal with issues they may not even consider….

TXT: A very attractive blonde woman

A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama walked into a busy casino and headed straight for the dice table. The dealers looked up as she placed…

TXT: Make arrangements

A boss says to his secretary, “we are travelling abroad for the week so make arrangements.” The secretary makes call to her husband, “my boss and i…

TXT: A man was relaxing on the couch

One evening, a man was relaxing on the couch with his wife, watching television and enjoying a bowl of peanuts. To entertain himself, he started tossing peanuts…

TXT: Mike saw his friend Paddy

Mike saw his friend Paddy sitting alone at the bar, looking miserable. “Hey buddy,” Mike said, taking the seat beside him. “What’s wrong with you?” Paddy sighed…

TXT: A woman awakes during the night

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *