A Canadian customer was calling to find out if there was a faster way to trigger menu commands than mousing up to the menus.

Agent: “Certainly, sir. There are keyboard shortcuts for many of those commands.

For example, suppose you want to trigger the Select All command.”

Caller: “Yes, I use that one all the time! How do I do it?”

Agent: “Well, you just press Control-A.”

Caller (after a pause): “Well, that’s not working for me.”

Agent: “Do you have a text document open in front of you?”

Caller: “Yes, I sure do.”

Agent: “OK, now press Control-A.”

Caller: “I am, but nothing happens.”

Agent: “The text isn’t highlighted?”

Caller: “No, there’s no change at all.”

Agent: “That’s odd. If you press Control-A the whole document should be highlighted. Try it again. Press Control-A.
Tell me exactly what’s happening.”

Caller (nearing his Canadian breaking point): “Listen. I’m pressing Control, eh? And nothing’s happening, eh?”